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Drink the Week Away, one Juice at a Time

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Here are seven juices for seven problems from the manual called Juices to Boost, Cleanse, and Heal (Ed. Lunwerg). According to it, these are “advice and detox recipes to purify and strengthen the body”. For us, they represent the solution for stress, for insomnia, and even a lowering in libido.

WHERE IS MY LIBIDO?

Your sexual impulse has lowered so much, and you don’t know where it has gone. Having too much bad cholesterol could be one of the causes, or it could be hormonal imbalances, so we are going to try something called the snake charmer: two stalks of celery, two big cups of spinach, one pomegranate’s worth of sees, and a cup and a half of seedless watermelon.

I AM REALLY OUT OF SHAPE

I think the causes are obvious: you haven’t been to the gym in two years and your doctor has been trying to draw your attention to this problem. You need to be serious about having a proper diet, staying hydrated, and consuming all the right nutrients. Also, pay attention to chlorophyll. The recommended juice is known as gym gasoline, with two cups of beets, two cups of kale, two cups of spinach, five tablespoons of fresh ginger, and two cups of cut cucumber, all promises to get you back in shape in a flash.

I CAN’T SLEEP

Without sleeping pills or long awful nights. Insomnia is brought on by anxiety, pain, stimulants, or whatever condition you’re in when you go to bed…all of this activates a stress hormone, and you need a juice made from sweet garden greens to sleep like a baby.

Five cups of spinach, four cups of romaine lettuce, five cups of kale, three cups of broccoli, one cup of parsley, one cup of basil, and eight cups of fresh lemon juice.

MY STRESS IS STRESSING ME OUT

It’s not easy to get rid of areas when you have a mile long list of things to do and only five minutes to do them. But the long term effects of stress (adrenaline, cortisol, testosterone…) and the desire to live a calm life, makes it so that annihilating stress will make you much happier: two cups of algae, two stalks of celery, three peeled kiwis, and two peeled oranges.